I know today wasn’t supposed to be something special, but to me, it was. I cant get you out of my mind. I just don’t think you know how much you mean to me. I promise i wont act different or hint to you that i really am having feelings for you. I just don’t want to lose you. this is why I do everything I can for you. :) I’m so afraid I am going to say the wrong thing and scare you away. I really did feel those sparks when we kiss. Although I tried my hardest to stay calm… I kinda lost it all in the end. haha :) I was just thinking about you :) thats what the smile was for :) :) you make me smile! lmao I could say so many sweet things. All the reasons why you mean the world to me, but then, I wouldnt have anything to suprise you with later on! 

:) I love you! 

<3 I have feelings for you, yet I feel like you tease me with love. I can’t get you off my mind. You make me smile :) You are the one who brings out the best in me. I will be your girl. If only you would let me. I will show you love <3 I’ve been having these feelings non-stop. The way I feel must mean something! My heart, I now can feel. I’ve never fallen completely in love. I’ve always had one foot on the ground. I want you to be that one person to sweep both feet up, and hold me close, but with this, you must protect me. I can not replace this love, or these feelings. I gaze at the stars, and see your face. I watch the sunrise, and feel your warmth. I feel the wind, and hear your whisper. You really are my world. My voice. My everything. Which I am willing to give all, to you. :) 

Now I feel,

LOVE 

<3

DeRosha

For some reason, I always fell crushed when he does not text me back…..

I have missed you. I miss the way we were. I have not been yours in a long time, although we may have that title. Boyfriend & Girlfriend. We have not been the same in too long. I have waited for you. Waited for your change. Every time I look at you, I see the other girl, looking back at me and laughing. That pain is enough to kill me. Although it already killed my heart. Now I must be strong. We must be strong together. And accept the truth. Goodbye.

I will miss you dearly.

[11:46 PM] Aerie De Rosha: mike and i had a late night tonight & did homework and fixed allll our problems, then

he said he had to leave to go help his dad & brither with something

so i called him….

and he butt-answered

he was with that stupid bitch

alli

on JV

he so i kept calling

when he answered,

 he wasnt going to admit it

then he said, “im going outside. Im parked”

i knew that he had gotten to her house, and was in the process of dropping her off

he was ling to me the whole time

He finially admited it

and guess why he did it

….

To see if i really did love him…..

 yeah, because all those hugs & stuff totially ment i DIDNT LOVE HIM

Im so angry

I dont know what to do

…. i need help!!!!

I love him, i relaly really do.

I just cant believe that he would lie to me

He promiced me that he wouldnt ever talk to her again;

then, when i told him to come over here & we will talk face 2 face

he said, “im still @ alli’s house. I have to go inside and tell her & her mom that im sorry” I was like WTF?!

I said, thats bull shit’

cuz it is

you dont apologise

especially if he didnt like her

than he ADMITTED TO ME THAT HE LIKES HERRRR!!!!!

SHES A FN UGLY BEEOTCH!!!!

now i hate her

for steeling my man

HES MY GOSH DAMN MAN!!!

i wish you could see how vigurosly im typing.

ITS REALLY uugh kinda relaxing to take my stress out

but isnt enough

I have been crying for hours

i am so mad at him

uugh

im sorry im blowing up your skype :)

you love me!

If he finds this, we are in deep shit. Hopefully it stayed private. If made the decision, to be friends. And take the old lover back. The one who I will marry. The one who cares about me more than life itself. 

I hate that I always get fucked over anytime I have plans for something important. I hate that life always ends up the way it does. …

FUCK LIFE

Why is it that when you finally find something good, but become a little unstable, that it all falls on to you. Your love comes crashing down. How could you watch me make the wrong decision, and do nothing about it. You know my feelings. You know my pain. I thought you would fight for me, I guess I thought wrong… :”(

I never wanted to play catch with him, but now I have you. I enjoy being with you. We had a great time tonight. With you, life changes and its entirety. I see the world with different eyes. And it feels good :) I was always down. I never wanted to do anything with him, but when i’m with you, all I want to do is be with you and see you smile! :) You always say, “your such a liar!” when I tell you how good you looked today. Why don’t you listen? Because in my eyes, your beautiful.